You’re Gonna Enjoy These NSFW Facts! (10 pics + 9 gifs)
5 Jun 2020
“Apparently I grunt a lot during the rough sexy times, and apparently, chicks dig it, or so I’ve been told. So, I guess embrace your inner caveman when entering pound-town? Don’t do it when making love though. Slow and sensual doesn’t pair well with Samuel L. Jackson’s eyes and gorilla noises.”
“Always keep a fuck-towel near your bed. It will avoid awkward penguin walk to the toilet for your partner and he/she will appreciate it.”
“Woman here, any vocal feedback from a dude is greatly welcomed. Most dudes are so quiet and it’s so frustrating, like are you enjoying yourself? Please let me know!!”
“When doggy, I take my leather belt and put it around her waist to use as handles for extra hard banging.”
“Use a trimmer with a plastic guard to manscape. You won’t nick yourself, it doesn’t itch like shaving, it’s easy and quick, and it looks good.”
“When you sit down to shit, pull your butt cheeks to the side. Then the poop won’t hit them and you’ll use less of that precious toilet paper to clean up.”
“There’s porn on the internet for free, you can stop begging girls who are just trying to live their lives for tit pics online every day. Don’t send dick pics, I promise, they don’t want them and it’s not as impressive as you think it is.”
“When you’re sucking dick and he wants you to go deep, ball your hand into a fist with your thumb inside and squeeze. It ‘disables’ your gag reflex so you can go deeper.”
“Men: If you are, by some miracle, asked for a dick pic, make sure your dick is hard for the photo.”
“Let your lady bits dry completely after a shower before putting on underwear. Helps prevent yeast infections.”
“Orgasm can naturally relieve pain for several hours afterward! Cramps? Bam! Headache? Bam! (Unless you get orgasm migraines, in which case… nevermind).”
“Most women don’t like it when you jackhammer them from the start and would prefer if you slow things down, especially initially. So get into a nice rhythm. She’ll let you know when to speed up. Also if she says “keep going” or “doing that” DON’T CHANGE WHAT YOU’RE DOING!”
“Clean your asshole before anal… Like REALLY FUCKING WELL!”
“Girls don’t be afraid to squeeze your Kegels when he’s inside you.”
“Give attention to unchartered erogenous zones during foreplay: inner wrist, scalp, inner thighs, behind the knees, perineum, and sacrum. Some of these you can stimulate during sex.”
“If you think you’ve used too much lube for anal, you haven’t used enough.”
“Three feet of rope can be turned into a pair of comfortable, adjustable, basic wrist cuffs in less than a minute.”
“If you are too embarrassed to buy condoms, you aren’t ready to have sex.”
“When eating a girl out, press your top lip right above the clit. If you push your face forward it will help move the clit hood back for better access and they can also grind on the front of your face better. Make sure the oven is heated a bit first. If she enjoys lots of clitoral stimulation you can give her the succ.”
<---not me but...well let's leave it at that shall we