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Dirty Secrets Of Historical Figures (13 PICS + 5 GIFS)

Posted in NSFW 9 May 2024 1734

"Princess Diana and her “Le Gadget” – a sex toy that she carried around with her when she went on diplomatic trips. She had even shown a table of foreign officials her toy as a prank on numerous occasions. She also believed it brought her good luck, one time she apparently left it all the way back in the UK while on a trip to Nepal (not just at a hotel), and ordered it to be dispatched to the capital Kathmandu."

"George Washington had severe hemorrhoids, to the extent that he couldn’t even ride a horse into battle sometimes, and had to be pulled on a cart."

"Guess we now know why he was standing on the boat in that one painting"

"French President Félix Faure died while getting his dick sucked :/"

"Victor Hugo (author of The Hunchback of Notre Dame, among other tales) was a notorious philanderer who had affairs on top of affairs with prostitutes throughout his life.

When he died, ALL of the brothels in Paris had to close because so many prostitutes attended his funeral."

"Mary Shelley, the author of Frankenstein (who also popularized gothic literature), used to meet up with her future husband, poet Percy Shelley, at the cemetery where her mother was buried. They would meet up and have angsty sex on her mother’s grave bc she was goth as hell."

"Anne Bonny used to fight with one boob out, just to show that not only are you about to get murdered, but you’re about to get murdered by an 18-year-old girl."

"Lyndon B. Johnson had a giant penis he was proud of and frequently whipped it out around various people. He nicknamed it “Jumbo”."

"In school, I was taught that Ben Franklin had a string of pearls that was several feet long. He would add a pearl to it each time he slept with a new woman."

"Marilyn Monroe had constant gas. All of her husbands corroborated it privately."

"Churchill was a bit of a nudist. He claimed to have some form of skin condition that made clothes uncomfortable to wear for long periods. When he visited the White House he would sit around naked while having discussions with FDR."

"Cleopatra’s nickname from Caesar was ‘Golden Mouth’. You can guess why."

"Kaiser Wilhelm II, the last German emperor wrote VERY sexual letters to his mum when he was a teenager"

"The first thing the “Father of Microbiology,” Anton van Leeuwenhoek, put under a microscope was semen. They understood that semen was integral to the creation of life but didn’t yet understand the concept of single-cell organisms. He fully expected to see tiny little humans in his jizz.

So yeah, the first thing he did was whack off on a slide and look at it."

"Raphael (The Italian painter, not the Ninja turtle) is believed to have died from exhaustion from nonstop sex."

"I mean it’s pretty well known, but not something that you’d be taught in school. JFK FUCKED. Obviously there was Marilyn Monroe, but apparently he also had a thing for prostitutes, that thing being his Presidential Penis. He has been quoted by a British Prime Minister as saying “if I go three days without a lay I get a headache”."

"Ancient Egyptians believed the god Atum created the universe by masturbating to ejaculation, and that the ebb and flow of the Nile corresponded to how much he came. To honor this, the pharaohs ceremonially masturbated into the river."

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